'Be yourself - don't get a damn thing what people will say about you'

Track Title: Er, would you at least stir my mojito?

Artist: Cast of "Lewis Macleod is Not Himself"

Album: Lewis Macleod Is Not Himself S01E01

mollydobby:

A Complimentary Cocktail  - Transcript of third sketch from BBC comedy sketch show “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ” S1E01 (x) A final attempt by the cast at effing the ineffable for this episode. IDEK … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Hawaiian music plays with waves gently lapping the shore*

Resort Attendant: Welcome to Waikiki Paradise Resort, Mr –

“Martin”:  Er … Freeman, as in,  I’m a free man, yeah? Free from the pressures of acting, and actors, and one particular actor who just won’t leave me alone. *nervous chuckle* Yep, just two weeks’ holiday getting away from him – er, it all, yeah. Getting away from it all.

Resort Attendant: Very good. Take a seat, and I’ll send over a complimentary cocktail -

“Martin”: Oooo lovely.

Resort Attendant: - expertly mixed by our tallest, poshest, most flamboyant cocktail waitress who happens to talk really really really really fast.

“Martin”: Erm, wait. Wha - what did you say?

Cocktail Waitress: Your drink, sir?

“Martin”: Now you listen here – wait, you’re not him. Oh, never mind, thanks for the cocktail – oh, it’s got a bit of fruit on a stick …

“Benedict”: Fooled you again! It’s me!

*fairy tale harp chords* [medieval choral chant] Ben-ne-dict Cum-ber-baaatch!

“Martin”: Oh, now, no – don’t be so ridiculous … what are you, my cocktail stick now?!

“Benedict”: Of course I’m a cocktail stick! I’m sharp and fruity, and often found in ladies’ mouths! It was the perfect disguise.

“Martin”: OK, fine. Er, would you at least stir my mojito?

“Benedict”: Of course.

“Martin”: Thank you, Burberdur Kerbedur!

“Benedict”: Close enough.

1st sketch here “Knock, knock. Who’s There? Benedict Cumberbatch.”

2nd sketch here “Fargo … and a moose called Benedict”

That’s all there is for now.


Track Title: Fargo ... and a moose called Benedict

Artist: Cast of “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ”

Album: Lewis Macleod Is Not Himself S01E01

mollydobby:

Fargo and an effing moose - Transcript of “Fargo” sketch from BBC comedy sketch show “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ” S1E01 (x) A second attempt at effing the ineffable. Someone on the writing team is familiar with the process of being Cumberbatched … 

 “Deputy Molly Solverson”: Oh, jeez, Mr. Nygaard. There’s been a murder!

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Aw, jeez, Deputy – aw, heck! Hey, you don’t think that’s got anything to do anything with Fargo, do you?

“Deputy Molly Solverson”: The town, or the movie?

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s not quite as good as the movie, is it? Hey, er … I hope you don’t suspect me of the murder, officer.

“Deputy Molly Solverson”: Oh  no, of course not. You’re just an innocent put-upon everyman.

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Yeah.

“Deputy Molly Solverson”: Besides, the only witness we have is a nearby moose, and he won’t be telling anybody who did it, that’s for sure.

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Oh yah.

*Lester goes over to the moose*

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Hey there, moose! Ya see who did that murder there?

“Benedict / moose”: [Sherlock voice] You know perfectly well that I saw the victim killed with a 24-ounce claw hammer, the favorite method of one particular Minnesota-based contract killer. Oh yes, I know who did it. But I’m not going to tell anybody until the last 5 minutes, when I’ll do so incredibly quickly, and use flashbacks, picking up impossible cues, and then call everybody an idiot, which you all are.

Hello, by the way, officer. The name’s Benedict Cumberbatch.

*fairy tale harp chords* [medieval choral chant] Ben-ne-dict Cum-ber-baaatch!

“Benedict / moose”: You’ll be falling in love with me in approximately 5 minutes, just as soon as you’ve got used to my face. I’m an acquired taste like lapsang souchong – distinctive, expensive, deep, rich, and surprisingly popular in China.

“Deputy Molly Solverson”: But – you’re a moose!

“Benedict / moose”: A cunning disguise, is it not? I merely sculpted my perfect hairdo into antlers, got down on all fours, and the illusion was complete.

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: Don’t mind him, officer – he’s been following me around in every TV show and movie I do. I … I thought the accent might shake him this time, but no.

“Benedict / moose”: You’d better believe it. I’ll be back for some smoldering sexual tension later. But for now, I have to go and sprint majestically through the urban landscape.

Cumberbatch-ho!

“Martin / Lester Nygaard”: You take care now, Honkytonk Crumpetstash!  

1st sketch here “Knock, knock. Who’s There? Benedict Cumberbatch.”


Track Title: Knock, knock. Who's There? Benedict Cumberbatch

Artist: Cast of "Lewis MacLeod is Not Himself"

Album: Lewis Macleod is Not Himself S1E01 (Comedy Sketch Show)

mollydobby:

An Attempt to Eff the Ineffable - Transcript of “Knock, knock. Who’s There? Benedict Cumberbatch.” from BBC comedy sketch show “Lewis Macleod is Not Himself ” S1E01  (x)

It does a great job with imitating Benedict’s and Martin’s voice and delivery - and its observations are hilariously absurd yet not untrue at the same time. 

“Ricky Gervais” [as David Brent] : Morning, Tim! Tim Bowler, Timbory-Tim, Timbory, Tim, Timbory Tim, Timboree! What are you doing?

“Martin”: Oh, er, you know, I’m just, you know, er … gazing despairingly at the camera like a perplexed hamster, as is my duty as the put-upon everyman character.

“Ricky Gervais” [as David Brent]: Well, well, you know, just to whisper in your shell-like [?] *laughs raucously* - the new guy starts today. I said you could show him the ropes.

“Martin”: Fine, er … when’s he coming?

“Benedict”: [Sherlock voice] I’ve been observing you from the reception area for the last half an hour. That is to say, I’m already here. Don’t feel bad for not noticing me sooner. When I stand very still and don’t speak, I can easily be mistaken for an incredibly ornate and attractive hat stand. The kind you find in an antique shop that doesn’t have any price tags. Don’t touch - you can’t afford. Hello.

“Martin”: Good … er … yeah, good gracious. Erm, what are you?

“Benedict”: My name is long and ridiculous, like my face. They call me Benedict Cumberbatch.

*fairy tale harp chords* [medieval choral chant] Ben-ne-dict Cum-ber-baaatch!

“Benedict”: Don’t worry, that always happens.

“Martin”: Uh, OK, right, yeah. Um, OK, well, so, let’s give you the tour. Well, we’ve got, you know, the photocopier here …

“Benedict”: Pish, posh, and Duchy biscuits. You don’t think I actually care about your tedious office, do you?

“Martin”: Well, no, but I sort of imagined you’re here because -

“Benedict”: Oh, you beautifully obtuse little turnip of a man. I’m here because after Sherlock and the Hobbit, I’m now contractually obliged to appear in everything you ever do, shall do, have done, have so much as considered doing – don’t you understand, we go together like bangers and mash, like cream tea and scones, like a put-upon everyman character actor and a big posh flamboyant manic pixie dream boy with cheekbones you could balance a BAFTA on.

Is it a man? Is it several hyper-intelligent cats sitting on one another’s shoulders wearing a latex man-suit? Or is it an incredibly sexy horse that’s learned to walk on its hind legs and talk very very very fast?

“Martin”: Um … sorry, could you repeat all that please?

“Benedict”: No time, get down with me beneath this desk.

“Martin”: Why? Is there someone going to try to kill us or something? Or …

“Benedict”: [dramatic low voice] No, we just need to get uncomfortably close to one other and gaze homoerotically into each other’s eyes. Can you feel the tension? Can you? Can you … do you want to give me a little kiss? Oh you mustn’t - I’m an alabaster Adonis, don’t touch me!

“Martin”:  Um, yeah, OK.  Erm, bit weird, er … but still, less annoying than that Gervais guy. Erm, look, erm … how much longer is this going to go on for?

“Benedict”: For the rest of your life.

“Martin”:  What?

“Benedict”: Now, if you don’t mind, I have to exit dramatically through a window or something, for no reason other than it looks fantastic. Goodbye for now, put-upon everyman character actor. Remember my name.

“Martin”: *sighs* Ahhhh - I’ll never forget you, Bumblebee Cuttlefish! 

Many thanks and loaded gazes to Fuck Yeah Freebatch and anindoorkitty for identifying “David Brent” at the start, and “beneath the desk”.

2nd sketch here “Fargo … and a moose called Benedict”

3rd sketch here ”A Complimentary Cocktail”



theimpossiblesoufflegirlagain:

the-fault-in-our-wifi:

iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou:

16goingonserial:

theghostpiilot:

shes-little-miss-pipedream:

unwanted-spooky-hair:

thegingerterrorist:

mystery492:

#win

i already reblogged this but i just realized it had a half naked Zack Effron in the background

HEADMASTER ZEFRON

Is that a sexily posed Lucius Malfoy I see there?

am i the only one laughing at the picture of a nose


perfection

i must have seen this 100 times and every times have i focused on zefron, only just now seeing the nose

I liked this previously but I swear I never noticed any of the background photos and I’m DYING.

theimpossiblesoufflegirlagain:

the-fault-in-our-wifi:

iwillfindyouandiwillshipyou:

16goingonserial:

theghostpiilot:

shes-little-miss-pipedream:

unwanted-spooky-hair:

thegingerterrorist:

mystery492:

#win

i already reblogged this but i just realized it had a half naked Zack Effron in the background

HEADMASTER ZEFRON

Is that a sexily posed Lucius Malfoy I see there?

am i the only one laughing at the picture of a nose

perfection

i must have seen this 100 times and every times have i focused on zefron, only just now seeing the nose

I liked this previously but I swear I never noticed any of the background photos and I’m DYING.




Track Title: Daft Punk

Artist: Pentatonix

Album: PTX, Vol. 2

tangarang:

youshinebrighter21:

Daft Punk - Pentatonix 

Seriously.

Just listen to the first twenty seconds and tell me that is not perfection.

what.


wesleycrush:

MY ANACONDA-

image


Reblog this if you would undoubtably make out with your icon